I'm a Doctor
by texasbella
Summary: DRABBLE How does a man cope when his world crumbles around him and he thinks he's lost everything? What lengths will he go to in order to find happiness? Dark, disturbing, not for the feint of heart.  M for lang/lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: Only saying this once for this story…Stephenie Meyer, Little Brown & Co and Summit own all the rights to the Twilight franchise…I'd be driving a much nicer car if I had my hand in the pot!**

**A/N: Hello all my lovelies! I know I owe ya'll a UW update, and I have started it. But while working on it, this little storyline appeared in my head and would not take a back seat so I had to finally let it get behind the wheel and drive.**

**This is not beta'd by anyone other than me, though the awesome reyes139 and Nicole have pre-read it for me. I have been asked if I'm off my meds (don't take any, but maybe I need to).**

**It's another drabble. You know what that means. Short chapters and quick updates. I'm almost finished with it, but didn't want to hold off posting any longer. Should have the whole thing up in two to three days. I blame kitkat681, theonlykyla, lvtwilight09 and XquisiteProdigy for my newfound drabble addiction…and the weird and twisted ways they turn out!**

**That being said, I must warn you, that this is dark and disturbing. I am really not sure where it came from, but I am considering the need for a psychological evaluation. But heyho, it's that Halloween time of year…what better time for something a little disturbing and my first character death?**

**Warning: If you are under 18, please take a hike, this story isn't for you. Also, if you have ever had any problems with pregnancy, this story may not be for you either. The subject matter and themes in this may act as a trigger for you and by no means do I want to cause any of you pain. I will not be offended if you can't come along for this ride or try to and have to flounce.**

**Without further ado, may I introduce Crackedward (so named by my lovely pre-reader Nicole).**

Months of planning.

Years of longing and disappointment.

All about to pay off.

I stand silently at the doorway, watching her.

She is breathing shallowly.

Her belly is ripe and swollen.

Ready for the picking.

It's time.

I'm going to be a daddy.

I walk towards her, a smile on my face, the instrument in my hand.

**What do you think? Are you in?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Since I actually posted chapter 1 in my group last night as a teaser, I'll give this one to you even quicker...**

**Thank you kroseph for being the first review!**

_**1 year earlier…**_

Aimlessly I wandered the streets, no care as to where I went.

Searching.

The black shroud of death hovering over me.

_How could this have happened?_

_Why did I lose her?_

We'd been so careful.

Only organic, pure foods.

Only the best pre-natal vitamins.

Special 'mommy to be' yoga classes.

None of it had mattered.

A shrill cry silenced.

Blood on my hands.


	3. Chapter 3

**Aww...thanks to those of you that are willing to take a chance on me...**

I was a doctor.

I should have been able to save them.

I couldn't.

My sweet daughter dead on arrival.

My beautiful Bella lost to a madness from which she couldn't escape.

I will make it right.

I will bring us peace.

Somehow.

I have a plan.


	4. Chapter 4

A soft sob from the alley catches my attention.

I walk into the dim shadows, unafraid as I have nothing to lose anymore.

She is huddled on the ground.

Shivering.

Trembling with her sobs.

"Are you okay?" I ask gently, my tone catching me off guard.

She slowly raises her head to look at me with her big brown eyes.

I gasp.

She could be her twin.

With frightened eyes, she shakes her head 'no.'

**Hmmm...who could it be?**


	5. Chapter 5

***insert evil laugh* love the ideas ya'll are coming up with! Vampella...*sniggers***

"I'm Edward," I say as I crouch in front of her.

She eyes me warily, her breath hitching as she tries to rein in her tears.

"It'll be okay. I'll help you," I offer my hand to her.

She tentatively reaches out to me.

Her hand is cold.

There is no spark like when I caressed my Bella.

I help her stand.

Her hair is long and straggly.

Her clothes are worn and ill fitting.

Too tight across the slight swell of her abdomen, noticeable because the rest of her is so thin.

She is dirty.

She is perfect.


	6. Chapter 6

She falls into my arms, clutching at me in desperation.

"Shhhh…" I croon as I rub her back.

"Do you have a home?" I ask.

"Not anymore…they…didn't want me…" she confesses as her tears pick up.

"Help me…please," she whispers into my chest.

"Of course. I'm a doctor." The words sound hollow.

"Let me take you home and care for you…" I trail off, waiting for her name.

"J-je-jessica," she stutters out. "Thank you."

Taking her hand in mine, I lead her out to the street and towards my home.


	7. Chapter 7

**So...were you surprised? Kudos to kitkat681 to be the closest on guessing what is going on...though it wasn't a completely correct guess...hehe**

She doesn't speak during the walk.

I wonder if she is questioning her decision to accompany me.

To trust me.

Perhaps she should have.

We arrive and I escort her in, slightly amused as she looks around in wonder.

I show her to a guest room and offer for her to shower.

I resolutely enter my bedroom and retrieve some of Bella's maternity clothes.

She has no use for them now.

I hear the water running when I return so I leave the clothes on the bed.

I knock on the bathroom door to let her know I'm coming in.


	8. Chapter 8

**Because Brenda asked so nicely...here's the next one!**

She is hidden behind the shower curtain, peeking around it as I enter.

"I brought you some toiletries," I explain as I hand her the caddy with Bella's shampoo and body wash.

"There are towels in the cupboard and I left some maternity clothes on the bed for you."

"How did you know?" she asks wide eyed.

"I'm a doctor and you are showing."

She blushes.

Perfect.

I close the door and leave.

I go to the kitchen to fix them a meal, after stopping by my office for some medications.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok folks, kids are starting to come home and it's a Friday night which means there are band activities...this MIGHT be the last post for today...**

I am pleased that she is fertile.

But the child she is carrying needs to go.

It's not mine.

I fix some toast and poached eggs.

Something light as I'm not sure how long it's been since she's eaten.

I brew a cup of tea and stir in the tablets that will empty her, ready her for my seed.

Just as I place her meal on the table, I hear a throat clear.

I glance up from the table.

"Bella…"

The name escapes my lips softly, quietly.

I walk over to her.

Take her hand and guide her to the table.

Pull out her chair.

"This looks good…thank you, Edward."

She looks like Bella, but she doesn't sound like her.

I'll keep her quiet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry about the chapter mix up on 9...but it's fixed now and I give you this as I run out the door...**

She yawns after she has finished the food.

The tea is only half gone.

That will never do.

"Do you not like the tea?" I question.

"It's a little bitter," she admits as she smacks her lips, tasting the residual medicine I'm sure.

"Please finish it while it is warm," I coax.

She lifts the cup to her lips and drinks it all down, not wanting to be rude.

"Good girl," I whisper against her ear as I lean over her from behind.

She shivers.

My hand trails down her arm to her hand so I can take the cup.

"Let's get you to bed."


	11. Chapter 11

**Home for just a minute before running back out! Aha...the wheels are turning! Shar0525 is suggesting a "twofer" with the head doctor...should I see about getting a group discount?**

I tuck her in before setting up my sampling kit.

She eyes the needle and collection tubes.

"What are those for?"

"I'm going to take some blood samples…to check your levels," I explain.

"Okay," she yawns again.

She has gone to sleep before I get the needle in.

I leave her to rest while I take the samples to my office to run my tests.

To check her blood type to be sure it's compatible with mine.

To check her hormone levels so I'll know when she's prime.

The first test confirms she is about ten weeks along.

This shouldn't be too painful.

I pad down the hall to check on my Angel one last time and go to bed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Back for a few more minutes...going to be a crazy night...can you tell? Thank you for all the reviews coming in! I am thrilled that ya'll are enjoying this and not coming after me with the nearest weapon.**

**I think it's time for a little squeeze of lemon juice...**

My eyes open at six a.m.

The same as every day.

My hand reaches to the empty spot next to me.

The same as every day.

New today is the throbbing between my legs.

For the first time in months.

As if my body knows what my subconscious is accepting.

My hand slides into my pajama pants.

Into my boxers.

I grip my hot flesh and groan.

My eyes close.

I lose myself in the pleasure.

Stroking and squeezing.

Gasping and panting.

Until my boxers become sticky.

I shouldn't waste my seed.

But it will be at least a month before she's ready to conceive.

I know this, because I'm a doctor.


	13. Chapter 13

**I think we can all agree...Edward is NOT right in the head! Just finished the last chapter (53) and the epilogue...**

With only a little remorse, I shower and dress.

I need to check on my Angel.

Give her the meds and take my collections.

Feed and bathe her.

Make sure she is comfortable.

I go to the kitchen and prepare oatmeal and fresh sliced fruit.

I put it on a tray with a cup of hot cocoa this time.

Perhaps that will taste better.

I stop by my office to collect my supplies.

I see to my Angel.

I see to Jessica.

I withdraw to the nursery to wonder if what I'm doing is right.


	14. Chapter 14

**Once again I am blown away by your devotion. Ya'll are cracking me up and making me smile with the reviews. The lovely JamesOfJungle has offered to put me on her couch when this is all over...bwahahaha! So, the million dollar question seems to be: Is Bella dead or alive? Hmmm...I know...**

It takes a week.

Wake up at six.

Relieve my greedy cock.

Fix breakfast and perform my doctorly duties.

Retreat to the nursery.

Fix dinner and run my checks, administer the medicines.

Relieve my greedy cock…again.

Retire at nine.

A week of the same routine before the gradual doses take effect.

When I enter the room she is pale and sweating.

Her face is scrunched up and I can tell she is crying.

"Good morning Jessica, is everything alright?"

"I think something's wrong with the baby, Edward," she answers softly, fear in her voice.

"It hurts so bad," she cries as her body tenses.

I try not to let her see me smile.


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok...this really is the last one for tonight...you sick psychotic people! The names you are coming up with! Dr. Freakshoward, Dr. Dark and Scaryward...lmao**

My face composed, I approach the bed and pull down the covers.

"Let's take a look shall we?" I say, easily falling into the familiar bedside manner.

She is curled up in a fetal position and I have to encourage her to unfold.

Guiding her onto her back, I place her feet on the bed with her knees bent.

I gently talk to her as I push up her nightgown to her waist.

Using two fingers, I manipulate her abdomen and she whimpers.

Satisfied by the hardness that her body is in labor, I explain that I need to do an internal check.

She doesn't resist as I slide her panties down and off.

I place my hands on her knees and run them up her thighs so she is prepared for my approach.

I push her thighs apart and am disappointed that she is not bare.

My Bella was always so smooth for me.

This will be rectified as soon as possible.

But first things first.

I press two fingers into her.

Pushing in deep until I feel her cervix, confirming that her body is definitely going to expel the child.

I withdraw.

Blood on my hands.

**Sweet dreams...**

***giggles and scampers off into the night***


	16. Chapter 16

**Goooodddd Morning! Hope ya'll slept well...I know I did, especially after chartwilightmom sent me to bed with such lovely images!**

**Shar0525...just got to say, your "Are you fer shizzle with the giggles?" had me guffawing last night!**

**Wow...I don't think Edward has ever been given so many -Ward descriptions in one story...Pyschoward, Freakshoward, Dr. Dark and scarWard, Seedward, Expelward, Shaveward, Reepward, Creepward, Dr. EVILward, Twisted Darkward...it all boils down to the boy is CRACKED (one fry short of a Happy Meal as was pointed out to me).**

**My favorite "theory" so far...serial impregnator**

**Let's get back to the good doctor, shall we?**

"I'm sorry Jessica," I say stoically.

She turns away, ashamed to cry in front of me.

"I will try to make you as comfortable as possible, but you are losing the baby."

She can only nod as she chews on her lower lip.

So many traits just like my Bella.

Will she feel as good wrapped around my cock?

I shake the thought off…for now.

"We can do this one of two ways," I begin explaining as she listens attentively.

"We can let your body go through the natural labor process to expel the fetus," she flinches at my choice of words, "or I can do a simple procedure, with some anesthesia, and the process can be finished in about an hour."

I patiently wait for her decision as I let my hand run over her inner thigh.

When she doesn't answer me, I slide my hand a little further up, almost teasingly.

"We can always try again, Jessica," I say as I stare at her suggestively, my fingertips now brushing her outer lips.

Her breath hitches as she drinks in my stare.

"Can…can we just get it over with?"

**Just curious...would anyone be interested in a list of some fantastic drabbles?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Warning...he's about to delve even deeper into his madness...**

I pull my hand back and pat her knee.

"Good girl. Just let me go collect what I'll need," I say and walk out of the room.

I return shortly and set her up on an IV with a mild sedative.

I don't want her out completely.

Just relaxed.

I help her stand and instruct her to lean against the bed as I lay down some old towels.

I have her remove her gown completely and I discreetly assess her breasts.

They are smaller than Bella's, the nipples more mocha in color compared to Bella's rosy tips.

I guess no one can be as perfect as my Bella.

I help her back into the bed as she is seized with another cramp.

The sedative soon kicks in and she lets me get to work.

The first thing I do is lather her up and shave her smooth.

I don't miss that her clit swells and protrudes from her lips as my hands glide over her.

She is very reactive…just like Bella.

Once I have a nice clean area to work in, I prop her legs open and begin the D&C.

She lies there quietly as I clean her out.

When I'm done I help her into a clean night gown and panties with an extra absorbent pad.

I lay some more towels under her and explain that she will continue to bleed a little and might have some mild discomfort.

The fetus is in the bundle of towels I had under her while performing the procedure.

I take it out to the trash.

Then I pad down the hall to the nursery.

"Soon…my Angel," I whisper into the darkened room.

**Several of you have said yes to the Drabble compilation...I'm still putting it together, should have it for the next update...**


	18. Chapter 18

**Oh my...ya'll are getting sooo close!**

Another week passes.

I follow the same routine.

I tell myself no more jerking off after this week…I need to build up my reserves.

She is healing well.

I continue the blood draws every other day.

She has plumped up with the regular food.

More like my Bella every day.

I visit her in the nursery when I am not tending Jessica.

Of course, she doesn't answer me when I talk to her.

**Drabble list...okay, here are the ones that I can think of off the top of my head!**

**by theonlykyla**  
>Please Pass the Peas...light, funny, IN PROGRESS<br>Who Is This?...a sexy mysterious texter, IN PROGRESS  
>Fantasy Granted...straight up SEXY, first part completed, now being continued<br>Choices...you will need tissue, COMPLETE

**by kitkat681**  
>From My Window...super sexy yet sad at times...COMPLETE<br>Self Storage...mysterious sexy and angsty things are happening in a storage unit...COMPLETE, but occasional outtakes are being added  
>Bed and Breakfast...perfect for Halloween...will send shivers up your spine and have you pissing yourself laughing...COMPLETE<br>Key Party...so very sexy...an ending that will leave you gasping for air...COMPLETE  
>The Last...a whole new take on Vampward...COMPLETE<p>

**by lvtwilight09**  
>Ray of Light...so sweet and endearing &amp; an unknown POV...COMPLETE<br>A Multitude of Sins...will definitely help you find your religion! Priestward is sooo HOT...IN PROGRESS

**by XquisiteProdigy**  
>Pilfered...sexy and mysterious...IN PROGRESS<p>

**by HeartOfDarkess**  
>Sparkly PeensTeenage Dreams: A Twilight Crackfic...a positively HYSTERICAL rewrite of Twilight...put on your depends and for the love of all that's holy...do not eat or drink while reading because you WILL choke! IN PROGRESS<p>

**by Edward's Eternal**  
>Simply Coffee...Bella's story will break your heart, Edward has never been sweeter...IN PROGRESS<p>

**by BellaEdwardlover1991**  
>Sunshine's Path..."You love fucking me, I just fucking love you."...IN PROGRESS<p>

**by tinylittlebell**  
>I Love, I Hate...I haven't read this one yet, but it has been highly recommended...IN PROGRESS <p>


	19. Chapter 19

Two more weeks.

I have been good.

My balls are full and in desperate need of release.

I draw my samples, take my collections.

I tend my Angel.

Jessica must be kept healthy.

Her bleeding has completely stopped.

She seems healthier.

Her levels are rising.

It's time to procreate.

**dun dun dun...several of ya'll have been wondering about how he's going to do this...**

**Two more drabbles...can't believe I forgot to list them!**

**SoapyMayhem's Lost and Found...**I beta on this and it's just...wow. In progress, but definitely worth the follow along.

**Jaydogrut's For the Love of an Angel**...slash/ Jasper loses Edward on the night of their wedding...or does he? This is so heartfelt, it made me cry. COMPLETE, sequel to follow.

And if you somehow missed it, there's always my other drabble, Desires and Neurosis...a honeymoon tryst that begs the question Who's your daddy...COMPLETE

**See ya'll in about 30 minutes...**


	20. Chapter 20

**Want to say a special thank you to WitchyVampireGirl for grabbing her blankie and stepping out of her comfort zone to try this out. Have you read The Mating Connection...it's hers...and if Stephenie had written Twilight the way she is, the movies would NOT have been rated PG...**

**The madness continues...**

The room smells off when I enter.

I help her into the shower.

Watch her to be sure she uses the strawberry shampoo and soap.

I help her dry off and rub the strawberry lotion into her skin.

I inhale deeply.

Much better.

I brush her hair, leaving it long and free.

I dress her in the dark blue satin and lace baby doll nightie that I always loved on Bella.

It will hide her wrongly colored nipples.

I skip the panties…they'll just be in the way.

"Do you trust me?"

"I think so," she whispers.

Good enough for me.

**Couple of reminders from the author front...**

***The Damn You Autocorrect Contest (search under author on FF) is open for voting...one of the three entries is mine!**

***Time is almost up to get your minimum $5 donation receipt to www . texasfires . ysar . info to get your PDF compilation of all outtakes/one shots donated to raise funds for the victims of the wildfires that burned through Texas this summer. I'm donating a pregnancy outtake from TSID**

***I've put my name in to contribute to the Christmas Wishes Compilation ( christmaswishescompilation . blogspot . com) Again, minimum $5 donation gets you a PDF compilation. All proceeds to be donated to Toys for Tots. I'll be doing the When In Romania epilogue...**


	21. Chapter 21

**So...the hubs heard me laughing at my computer...asked what was up. Explained I was reading reviews for this, so he asked what it was about. I explained. He sat there looking at me with a blank expression for awhile before saying he liked it. Loves that I've made Edward less than desirable...hmmm...wonder if I can get him to actually read this one?**

**Oh...to answer the question of invitro or the natural way...**

I lift her and carry her to the bed.

I lay her down gently.

She lets her legs fall apart.

I show her the blue silk ropes.

Her eyes darken and her breathing picks up.

She pants as I bind her to the bed.

She is wet and warm when I run my fingers through her folds.

My cock is rigid and so swollen when I push into her in one thrust.

My eyes are closed as I breathe in the scent of my Bella.

Her pussy grips and squeezes me.

I thrust until she cries out.

"Please…" she begs.

She's not supposed to talk.

I put my hand over her mouth.

Her eyes widen as I pound relentlessly.

The first deposit is made.

I whimper out 'Bella' as my stores are emptied.

"You'll be a mommy, my Angel," I state as I depart the room.


	22. Chapter 22

**Anyone else feeling this way?**

*rocks in the corner* must not look... nooo.. must not look... have you not  
>read Cara's rules... nooo *shakes head* get out.. get out of my head...<p>

You made the voices come back!

**love you WVG!**

I continue my deposits.

Twice a day, for the next three days.

I make sure her hips are elevated to hold my sperm.

I've had to add the matching blue blindfold…her eyes aren't quite the same as Bella's when we made love.

And a ball gag.

Reminds me of kinky times with my Bella.

Such a little slut.

She gets so wet for me.

I come so easily, surrounded by the smell of strawberry and the sight of blue against creamy skin.

_I think I'm a little mad…_

**_Compliments of twifanmom..._**

**_Ozzy's Crazy Train as the song for this story._**

**_More drabble rec's..._**

**Beegurl13's **Worship

**CaraNo's **All Nighters (complete) / River (in progress)/ NFW (in progress)


	23. Chapter 23

**Danie86...you are funny as shit! DrControlFreakPsychoDomWard and SubEssica **_*sniggers in my padded cell*_

The wait is maddening.

But I stick to the routine.

Which includes my morning and evening self-loving sessions once again.

After all, if this didn't work, it's going to be another month before we can try again.

I'm hopeful it worked.

As the days pass she seems a little pale.

Seems to have lost her appetite.

_Maybe I should untie her and help her shower?_


	24. Chapter 24

Another two weeks have gone by.

My Angel is beautiful.

But Jessica is so quiet.

I stop by the nursery on my way to her room.

I smile at the silly dancing green frogs in their pink tutus.

It was what Bella wanted for our daughter.

She loves this room.

"I'm trying to get us a baby," I whisper.

I leave and go to Jessica…she is asleep.

She's always sleeping these days.

She has to be pregnant.

I set up the blood draw.

She winces.

I pull back her covers for an internal exam.

She moans when my fingers enter her.

The little slut is warm and sticky inside.

I finish the exam and pull my fingers out.

Blood on my hand.


	25. Chapter 25

"Fuck!" I cry out as the waves of disappointment envelop me.

She flinches.

She should.

She failed.

I'm mad.

I lose control.

When I come to I find her on the floor next to me.

Her cheek is swollen…her eye puffy.

She is so quiet.

_What happened?_

**Here's a challenge...**

**I've just been asked for permission for this to be rec'd out on a blog next week. Are any of you up to the task of making a banner to accompany the link/rec?**


	26. Chapter 26

**Just sayin'...it would have been too convenient to get her knocked up the first go round...**

The whole house smells of death.

Decay.

It follows me wherever I go.

Can't it just let me be?

I'm trying to bring life back to my home.

Trying to make my Bella proud of what a good daddy I'll be.

Two more weeks of the same routine.

It's getting harder to get Jessica to eat though.

Her temperature tells me it's time to try again.

I untie her…and fuck her.

She really is a naughty girl the way she squirms and cries out for me.

My Bella was never such a whore.

She never liked it so rough.


	27. Chapter 27

**cuckoo...cuckoo...**

I decide that twice a day wasn't enough the first time.

That perhaps other positions should be tried.

She lets me lead her around by a leash.

I make sure she doesn't stumble since she can't see past the blindfold.

I keep her next to me, so that my balls can be emptied each time I am ready.

I lose count of how many times I inject my semen into her in the three days of her fertile time.

Surely it will work this time.

Time will tell.

Apparently I have plenty of it.

The hospital had my things delivered to the house.

With a letter expressing their condolences on my loss and a 'not open for discussion mandatory leave of absence pending evaluation.'

What the fuck ever.

I have my Angel.

Jessica will bear us a child.

I still didn't like the way the messenger boy coughed and scrunched his nose up as he handed my things over.


	28. Chapter 28

I can't sleep.

The smell has invaded my brain.

It's only gone if I'm in the nursery or with Jessica.

I check the calendar…it's been two weeks.

I enter her room with a bittersweet hope.

There is no blood today.

Nor the next day.

My hope rises.

I check her for three more days before I allow myself to draw her blood and run the test.


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey guys...sorry about the delay, had to go pick up my son from his bassoon class. Anyways, by the 10 minute posting schedule I've set for myself I figure I owe ya'll 5 chapters as of now...and going to through in one more for good measure...**

Her HCG levels have skyrocketed since I tested her five days ago.

My heart soars as I run into the nursery and dance.

Then I remember Jessica.

I have to tell her the good news.

I'm confused when she trembles as I bound into the room.

"We did it!" I shout happily.

"hmm?" she mumbles around the ball gag.

"Oh my Angel, we're going to be parents!" I yell.

Maniacal laughter fills the room.

I realize it's me.

_Why is Jessica crying?_


	30. Chapter 30

The days pass by in a whirlwind.

Turning into weeks, then months.

Each time I can record more growth of her belly it brings me joy.

She doesn't want to eat.

But I make her.

It's for the baby.

I make sure the nursery is spotless.

I have supplies delivered…diapers, lotions, special soaps.

No formula though.

Our baby will drink breast milk…because it is best.

I am a doctor after all.


	31. Chapter 31

Only pure, organic foods.

Only the best pre-natal vitamins.

No special yoga classes this time.

Don't want her catching any germs that could hurt our baby.

I exercise her at home.

She likes when I lead her around the backyard.

I can tell by her panting.

She enjoys shower time as well.

The way she shivers and roams her hands over herself, I just know she does.

But we have to do it outside with the hose.

Can't risk her falling in the shower, now can I?


	32. Chapter 32

_Present day…._

I wish I had some ultrasound equipment here.

I want to know what our baby is.

Oh well.

I like surprises.

And I don't have to wait long.

I have a surprise for Jessica.

"Good morning, Jessica," I say cheerily as I stroll in, my hand behind my back.

I set the instrument at the foot of the bed.

She can't see over the bulge of her abdomen.

Of course, she doesn't even try to look.

The medicine I gave her is slowing her heart.

I'm a good doctor.

I'm trying to make her as comfortable as possible.

Make this as painless as possible.


	33. Chapter 33

She barely blinks at me as I pick up the knife.

I made sure it was extra sharp…the blood on my thumb where I tested it proves that.

"Thank you, Jessica," I tell her as I pull the covers back.

"It's time, my Angel," I murmur as I position the blade on the far side of Jessica's abdomen.

I make the first pass like a hot knife through butter.

Her flesh peels away, revealing the inner layer of muscle.

The sight is fascinating.

My heart races as the blood wells up and flows over.

She moans, but doesn't move.

The sedative is working.

Carefully, I cut through the muscle.

Don't want to hurt our baby.

There is a rush of warm clear fluid and I see my first glimpse of the vernix coated pink skin.

I drop the knife with a clatter on the floor.

I squeeze my large hands into the cavity and carefully extract… our daughter.


	34. Chapter 34

Oh god…she is so beautiful as she squirms and attempts to cry.

I turn her over in my hand and rub her back, encouraging the excess fluids from her mouth.

The first loud screech is music to my ears as she pinks up magically.

I carefully lay her on the soft, pink cashmere blanket Bella had picked out so long ago.

Away from the blood on the bed.

I retrieve my tools from the tray I had brought in earlier and quickly tend to the umbilical cord.

I wrap our sweet baby girl tightly in her pink blanket and lift her into my arms.

She nuzzles against my chest.

She is hungry.

Her mommy can fix that.


	35. Chapter 35

**So, I owe apologies again...apparently FF didn't like me uploading 6 chapters at a time and screwed them all up...sigh...I got them fixed (you may want to go back and reread 29-34 to make sure you didn't miss anything) This is also why there was another time delay...I wanted to be sure everything was in order before I added anymore...**

**Can't believe this happened within the group of chaps that were the "climax" of the story...so very sorry...**

I walk out of the room, my precious bundle in my arms, and close the door behind me for the last time.

I eagerly move to the nursery.

She's going to be so happy.

Especially now that I've stopped the meds.

It was really for her own good so that she wouldn't have to mourn the loss of our daughter.

As was my faithful expressing of her milk every day to keep it flowing.

So she could feed our daughter when the time came.

I'm a doctor so I know what was best for her.

Now the sedatives should be wearing off enough that she can rejoin me.

Rejoin us.

Our happy family of three.

I stride across the room to where she rests.

"Bella, my Angel, our daughter is hungry…"

**Are ya'll thoroughly repulsed? I could stop here...of course, I do have 19 more chapters written...**


	36. Chapter 36

**_*shakes head* you sick people you...welcome to my world!_**

**_Ready for a change in the point of view?_**

_My head is so fuzzy._

_I feel like I've been asleep for years._

_I've been fighting to swim to the surface._

_Something is not right._

_It's been getting easier…I can move my arms now._

_Slowly, I drag them up my body._

_Scratching myself accidently with my long nails._

_My hands bumps against my swollen breasts and it all comes back in a rush._


	37. Chapter 37

**_So some of you were surprised, others not...the rest of the story will be in Bella's voice...and hopefully ALLLLL the questions you've had will start to be answered now._**

_Hours of agonizing labor to deliver a stillborn girl._

_Edward had been devastated._

_He'd run from the room crying about blood on his hands._

_I couldn't follow._

_I wanted to die._

_I had failed after trying so hard._

_Three miscarriages before a pregnancy stuck._

_Edward had been so attentive, making sure we did everything right._

_I trusted him because he was my husband and he was a doctor._

_He trusted me to deliver him a healthy child…_

_I failed._

_I retreated into the hidden shadows of my mind._


	38. Chapter 38

_I hear footsteps._

_I can sense him near me._

_He speaks and his voice is a warm cocoon that wraps around me._

"Bella, my Angel, our daughter is hungry…"

_Our daughter?_

_She's alive?_

_Was it all a bad dream?_

_It must have been._

_I am achy all over, my breasts are swollen._

_I have a daughter to feed._

_I lift my heavy eyelids and smile at the blurry vision before me._


	39. Chapter 39

_He stands there with a pink bundle in his arms._

_I briefly look around, the blurriness clearing._

_I am in the nursery that we so painstakingly decorated._

_He had laughed at me when I got so excited about the adorable little frogs._

_But he had said if it made me happy, then he would be happy._

_He brings her over and sets her in the crib to the sound of her unappreciative little squawk._

_It's so cute._

_He helps me sit up tenderly._

_I can't take my gaze off his face…he's…changed._

_He lifts her up and places her in my arms._

_She is so tiny and light._

_I go to pull back the blanket so I can count her fingers and toes and just look at her._

_That's when I notice the blood on the blanket._

_The blood on his hands._


	40. Chapter 40

**_Ya'll are humbling me with the reviews! Want to wish arwen01 to the story...she just started reading and is devotedly reviewing every chapter...much to my amusement as the reality of how twisted this is sinking in... _**

_Confused, I quickly, but carefully, unwrap her._

_How can she look like she was just born, still coated in blood and vernix, if we are home?_

_Slowly, I look up at him and really see._

_His face is overgrown._

_His hair is longer than I've ever seen it and greasy._

_His clothes are dirty and rumpled, as if he's been in them for days._

_He's spattered in fresh blood._

"_E-Edward?" I say, my voice trembling._

_Something is definitely not right._

_I wish my head weren't so fuzzy._


	41. Chapter 41

**Thank you all...the answers are coming...**

"Shhh, my Angel, come now, Madison is hungry," _he says as he kneels in front of me._

_Madison?_

_Oh…of course, we'd chosen her name just before I went into labor…Madison Marie Masen._

_We'd laughed about calling her our little 'm&m.'_

_With his help, I lifted my top and brought my little girl to my breast._

_She latched on eagerly and I felt a sense of peace wash over me at the gentle tugging sensation as I nourished her._

_She greedily ate for about twenty minutes before her eyes fluttered and closed._

_Her lips falling open with a soft 'pop' as she released my nipple._

_I gently placed her over my shoulder and worked a tiny burp free._

"_Edward, um, she needs a bath…but I think we can let her take a little nap first. Can you sit here with her while I go take a shower?" _

_I don't know why, but I feel the need to scrub myself clean._


	42. Chapter 42

**Jiminy Cricket! Sorry...THIS was supposed to be chapter 42...I'm going cross eyed after sorting these all day!**

"Oh, of course, I'd be happy to watch our little sweetie. Go ahead and go shower in our room. Please be careful, I don't want you to slip."

_He bends close to take her from me, brushing a kiss over my lips._

_I'm taken aback by the smell coming off of him._

_Perhaps I should suggest he shower first?_

_No, I have a desperate need to get out of this room suddenly._

_I manage to suppress a reaction to his odor and smile sweetly at him._

_I stand and step out of the way, my knees threatening to buckle under me._

_I grab the edge of the crib to steady myself._

_He hasn't noticed as he is talking and cooing at Madison._

_I gradually make my way to the door._

"_Thank you Edward, I'll try to not take too long."_

"We'll be fine Bella, you go, enjoy your shower,"_ he says as he looks up at me._

_His eyes are manic._

_I quickly step out into the hall, pulling the door behind me._

_The stench is awful._


	43. Chapter 43

**_Chapter fail again... Sorry...so, um, yeah...go back and reread 42, I'll post 44 momentarily..._**

**_And que the embarrassment because OMG SHEVIKING REVIEWED MY STORY! and now I look like a putz... _**

**_I want to assure you that there will NOT be a Jessica POV...it was bad enough going through this in Edward's head...I do not want to relive it through hers. Once the whole story is up, if there are still any unanswered questions, I will probably add an extra Q&A chapter..._**

**_Back to Bella..._**

_I put my hand over my mouth and nose as I look up and down the hall._

_I move to our bedroom, the next room down._

_When I step in, it is in complete disarray._

_There are dirty clothes everywhere._

_The bed is torn apart._

_What happened in here?_

_My shower forgotten, I leave to check the rest of the house._

_The living room is dusty and looks unused._

_I notice a box by the front door and move to it._

_I pick up the crumpled letter on top from the hospital._

_The words jump off the page at me…_'not open for discussion mandatory leave of absence pending evaluation.'

_How long have I been home?_


	44. Chapter 44

_The pit in my stomach deepening, I move towards the kitchen where the smell becomes stronger._

_It is filthy._

_There is no other way to describe it._

_Dishes everywhere with caked on food._

_Cupboards hanging open._

_The trash is overflowing._

_I look closer._

_There appear to be towels shoved in the top…they are brown and crusty._

_I can't even imagine what is on them._

_I leave the room before the smell overwhelms me and causes me to vomit._

_I head back to our room, but pause at his office before going in._

_While not in the neat and orderly fashion I am used to seeing it in, it is at least in better shape than what I've seen so far._

_Edward's phone is lying on the desk._

_I pick it up and look at the date._


	45. Chapter 45

_2011?_

_Our baby was due in 2010._

_Panic sets in as I wonder if I've gone crazy._

_If THIS is all a dream._

_I rub my eyes and shake my head and look around the room._

_Medical supplies lie everywhere._

_Needles and vials._

_Pill bottles._

_I don't know what any of it means._

_But I know it can't be good._


	46. Chapter 46

_I notice a low humming and look to the corner._

_There is a chest freezer in the corner._

_I go to it and lift the lid…and gasp as I drop the lid._

_It was full of neatly stacked packages of milk…all clearly labeled in his pristine handwriting._

_Then I notice the breast pump next to the freezer._

_Things start falling into place._

_Well, everything except from where that baby came from._

**_Thank you to HeartOfDarkess for another drabble rec:_**

**_Drowning, Not Waving by Bower-Of-Bliss...it apparently has a talking vagina named Libby..._**


	47. Chapter 47

_The baby!_

_I back out of the room planning to go back to him and ask what was going on, see about getting him out of the room._

_Surely he shouldn't be near that innocent child?_

_I notice the door at the end of the hall, our guestroom, is closed._

_We never closed it before...unless we had guests._

_My head is throbbing and I feel as if I'm treading water or walking through a thick fog as I make my way towards the door._

_My hand is shaking as I reach for the door knob._

_I keep my eyes on the ground, fearing what I'm going to find, as I push the door open and walk in._

_I take a deep breath and cautiously lift my eyes._


	48. Chapter 48

_I think my mind is trying to protect me as I skim over the lump on the bed to take in the rest of the room._

_There are those Christmas tree air fresheners lying around the room and hanging from the ceiling._

_Again, the room is in a state of chaos._

_Finally I look to the bed._

_The poor creature tied to the bed with a gag in her mouth is barely recognizable as a woman._

_My eyes shift down her body._

_To her nightgown pushed up around her waist._

_To her engorged abdomen._

_To the gash across her pelvis, staring at me like a gaping red mouth._

_She is not moving._

_The bedding is dark, but red enough that I just know it is fresh blood._

What have you done Edward?

**A couple more drabble recs compliments of chartwilightmom...**

**Once Upon a Desire by bornonhalloween**

**Comfortable by lyricalkris**


	49. Chapter 49

_It's the only thought that crosses my mind before the rolling upheaval of my stomach wins._

_I fall to my knees as I expel the contents of my stomach._

_Laughing with mirth as I wonder how the food got there._

_That doesn't really matter does it?_

_Not when there is a dead woman in my house._

_Slaughtered for her child._

_I start to clench my hands and realize I am still holding his phone._

_I stare at it._

_Do I dare?_

_Do I have a choice?_

_The man down the hall is not the man I married._

_Not the man I fell in love with._

_We need help._

_I dial the numbers._

_9-1-1_

**_almost to the end..._**


	50. Chapter 50

"9-1-1 what is your emergency?" comes the voice on the other end of the phone.

_I start to cry as I whisper, "I think my husband may have just killed someone. I don't know if I'm safe."_

_I hear my address coming from his mouth._

_I think it's right so I say yes._

_He tells me to hold tight, that a car has been dispatched._

_Help will be here in two minutes._

_I have to get out of here._

_Out of this room._

_I crawl into the hall and prop myself against the wall._


	51. Chapter 51

_The doorbell rings and I jump._

_Edward steps out of the nursery and turns towards the front of the house._

_He doesn't notice me slumped down in the hallway._

_I hear the front door open and I pull myself up._

_I go into the nursery, where 'Madison' is sleeping peacefully in the crib._

_I hear low murmurs down the hall._

_With tears in my eyes, I exit the room and go towards the sound._

_Two uniformed officers are standing outside the open door talking to Edward._

_But he's not letting them in._


	52. Chapter 52

_Finding a well of strength, I stride forward._

_Pulling the door from Edward's grasp so I can open it all the way._

_He looks at me in shock._

"Bella? What…"

"_I'm so sorry Edward, I didn't know what else to do…"_

"Ma'am? Did you make the 9-1-1 call?" _Officer Black, by his badge, asks._

_I nod my head._

_Edward is speechless._

_His eyes are glazed._

"Is this your husband ma'am?" _It's Officer Black again._

_The other officer, Officer Hale his badge says, walks past us into the house, his gun pulled._

_Edward notices him walking down the hall and lunges for him._

**_Are ya'll ready to wrap this up?_**


	53. Chapter 53

_Officer Black catches Edward before he can get far._

_He twists his arms around behind his back and I hear the cold metallic click of the cuffs locking._

_We just stand there._

_No words._

_Officer Hale comes back, his gun put away, talking on his cell phone._

_He nods at Officer Black._

"There's a body. Female. Young. Appears to have recently delivered via a hack job c-section," _he relays his findings._

"Ma'am?" _He looks at me with tenderness in his eyes. _"Is there a baby in the house?"

_I nod and take him to the little girl._

_I watch as he lifts her sleeping form carefully._

_I follow him back to the living room._

_They lead Edward out to the car._

_The last words I hear as I crumple into Officer Hale's arms, tears running down my face…_

"But…It's okay…I know what I'm doing! I didn't do anything wrong…I'm a doctor!"

**Soooo…that's it, except for the epilogue…**


	54. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_It's been a year since that horrific morning and afternoon._

_Edward was committed to a mental institution._

_I was granted a speedy divorce with no long drawn out mediations._

_The simple fact was that he had kept me drugged._

_He had kidnapped, raped, tortured and murdered a young innocent girl._

_And to put it kindly, he had gone bat shit crazy. _

_The autopsy revealed the girl was Jessica Stanley, age 18 at time of death._

_Which meant she was 17 when Edward found her._

_When her parents were contacted, their only reaction was, "The whore got what she deserved."_

_They ran DNA tests on Madison to confirm her parentage before turning her over as a ward of the state. _

_Since my milk was still coming in, they allowed me to visit her for feedings._

_During sessions with a state appointed therapist._

_I had a hard time believing it when they told me she was Edward and Jessica's daughter._

_Officer Hale, Jasper, became a trusted friend through the rough weeks and months that followed._

_More than that actually._

_We were married a month ago._

_He can't have children._

_It has taken several discussions and sessions with my private psychiatrist, but we have decided to apply for adoption of little Madison._

_Her circumstances are not her fault._

_She doesn't deserve to grow up in the system._

_I will always cherish the final gift Edward 'gave' me…though I will never understand why._

**_~The End~_**

**Well...if you've made it to this point...you survived!**

**Still have questions? Hit me with them and I will answer...if there are a ton of them, I will go ahead and post a Q&A chapter.**

**Time for the mushy stuff...**

**I was seriously paranoid about putting this up, but ya'll welcomed it with open arms and open minds. I can't thank you enough! The outpouring of reviews that made me laugh (perhaps a bit maniacally) was just unbelievable. As quickly as this went up, and as many reviews that came in, I just couldn't reply to every one individually. So...to each and every one of you that came on this journey with me...THANK YOU!**

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**You are all amazing and I thank you from the bottom of my heart...**

**Extra special thanks and huge hugs to Sandy for all the pimpage the last two days!**

**Now...I think James of Jungle said something about putting me on her couch...**


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